The Worst Ginger Tea Recipe You’ll Ever Read (But The Taste Is Worth It)

If you’re a writer, you like hot drinks. If you’re a writer and you don’t like hot drinks, get out. You’re ruining my statistics.

Okay, fine. You can stay. But only because you’re a writer. And only because this ginger tea honey bomb has me all cuddly and forgiving.

You need a hot drink recipe. I want to give you a hot drink recipe. Because you can drink only so much caffeine. And I don’t know about you, but I need a crutch to limp through pain-in-the-ass writing projects sometimes. (Writing is hard. Don’t judge me.)

So I’m sharing how to make my favorite go-to writing crutch. (It’s ginger tea, if you’re wondering.)

Why ginger tea?

I cannot oversell this stuff. Mix it with honey and it’s the perfect blend of sweet and spicy. Plus, ginger has powerful health benefits.

But, first, a warning.

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The Warning

If you like actual recipes with actual directions and actual precise measurements, you’re gonna hate this recipe.

But it’s worth it once you taste this tea.

In fact, once you try this tea you’ll be addicted. And then you’ll appreciate this recipe because you’ll need a way to make bucketfuls of tea in the shortest time. And that’s what this ginger tea recipe is all about. All the quality with half the effort. Or ginger tea, the no-fuss, easy way.

Actually, maybe I should just show you how to make this tea by video. That’d probably be easier for you. That probably means I should put some pants on.

The Ginger Tea Recipe!

Prep the Ginger Root

You want a piece of ginger root the size of, say, the palm of your hand. But not if you have big hands. If you have normal lady hands. Which isn’t normal, I guess, if you’re a man. So if you’re a man, use less than that.

I like my ginger tea super spicy. That’s why I use a lot of ginger. Use less than “a lot” if you hate spicy (No judgement. Just kidding, I’m totally judging you).

I forgive you for not liking spicy if you’re German, though. Because the German government put a veto on spicy food or something and now regular Germans have no idea what spicy is.

Think I’m kidding? Try a dish off a German menu with three chili peppers next to it. That’s the warning sign for “spicy” in Germany. Three chili peppers next to the menu item. You order that, and your German friend will cry while he eats it. But to you it just tastes like pepperoni.

Break it up and rinse it really well. The ginger, I mean. Scrub it with a veggie brush, a washcloth, whatever. Just get all the dirt and dangly bits off of it. You don’t want that shit in your tea.

If your ginger isn’t organic, peel it. If it is organic, peel it if you want to. But don’t cry to me when it takes longer.

Luckily much of the skin will float to the top when you add water, and you can skim it off if you care about stuff like that. I care about stuff like that because too much ginger skin and you change the flavor of your tea.

On second thought, you should skim your ginger skin too. Because if it tastes like shit, you’ll miss out on the best tea ever. And then you’ll miss out on all the health benefits. And then you’ll blame me. And that would sad for both of us.

Process the Ginger Root

Now’s the sucky part. And you have two options here. One option that’s sucky. And another option that’s slightly less sucky.

Sucky Option #1:

Rub that lady-hand-sized piece of ginger root over a microplane. I guess you could use a cheese grater.

I’m not gonna lie, after awhile your wrist is gonna feel arthritic. But, thankfully, ginger tea helps with arthritis pain. Actually, this won’t be arthritis pain. It’ll be overuse pain (technical term). So it’s still gonna hurt. I would just go with option #2 if I were you.

Slightly Less Sucky Option #2

The second option protects your sensitive baby joints and gives the hard work to a food processor instead. But this option still sucks because you have to wash the food processor after.

Unless you have a dishwasher. In which case, I hate you. But making ginger tea will be easy. So congratulations. Asshole.

Now that you have a great big pile of shredded ginger root and your food processor is cleaning itself by magic in your dishwasher (asshole), you’re ready for the easy part.

The Easy Part

Throw your ginger pile into a pot. A big one. That one with the broken handle from that time you dropped it down the stairs will do fine. The lid still works. That’s all that matters.

Fill it up with water. Don’t use tap water. You’ll ruin the flavor, and who knows what pharmaceutical monstrosity lurks beneath the stench of chlorine and—god, what is that smell?

Right, so use clean, filtered water. That you pay for. Because everyone knows that our American water system alone calls our first world status into question. And why are we talking about ginger tea when we should be solving this water problem? If you ask me—

Cook That Shit

Slap a lid on that not-yet-but-soon-to-be-delicious concoction and crank your stove to medium. Or medium high. It’s gonna take awhile. I’m not sure how long.

When you hear it boil over onto the stovetop you just cleaned, it’s probably done.

Now, for the best part.

The Best Part

• Step 1: Strain your ginger tea through a sieve.
• Step 2: Add some honey to taste.
• Step 3: Enjoy the fuck out of it.

Ahhh, that’s the good stuff. You deserve it after all that work. In fact, you should just relax while you drink your tea. Never mind the writing after all. Writing is hard. Drinking tea is easy. Tea is the obvious choice.

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Some Other Shit I Want to Say

Honey Choices

If you live in Bakersfield, try Kern Honey. Pick it up at Lassen’s. It’s the only honey I’ve had that doesn’t taste like a horse took a shit in it.

Storage

At the end of the day, or when you’ve had enough, store your ginger tea in the fridge.

At first you’ll probably store it in a fancy drink container like a proper adult. But over time, you’ll start drinking so much of this tea you’ll give up on pretense and just store it in the pot you made it in. Embrace it. You’ve graduated to not giving a fuck. Celebrate it with a nice cup of tea.

You’re welcome.

Reheating

Reheat your ginger tea on the stove, not in the microwave. Microwaves destroy all the good things in this tea that inspired you to make it in the first place. Don’t be that guy. Don’t use the microwave.

Safe for Special Diets?

GAPS (all stages), Paleo, SCD, ADHD. Actually, pretty much all diets like this tea.

Portion Sizes

Can you make this tea in smaller portions?

Sure you can. But I’m not going to tell you how. Because we like our tea spicy and man-sized around here. (Psst: Don’t tell anyone I gave you this).

And because I have a reputation to uphold. I mean, I help you go the wimpy route and pretty soon people start thinking I’m soft and then they start saying I’m soft and before you know it, well-meaning readers start asking me politely not to cuss anymore and I start feeling bad that I have to say no to some granny who just wants her granddaughter to enjoy my work but she can’t because I use the f-word in every other post.

I don’t want that. You don’t want that. Because I really like cussin’.

I also really like ginger tea. You will too. Try the recipe.